A Date and other Stories
by Lilypad009
Summary: Several humorous prompts from all over the internet, all in one convenient place!
1. Brason

Today was the day.

Jason could hardly believe his luck; Today, he would take the most beautiful creature in the world out on a date. He tried to calm his racing heart in his cabin; The ever-imposing statue of Zeus didn't help ease his anxiety, but he had a feeling that he would need the confidence boost. He dressed carefully under his father's stony gaze, using a mirror that Leo had made for him. His good buddy had helped spruce up the lifeless mausoleum that had been the Zeus Cabin (though he technically wasn't a son of Zeus), with a large bed, dresser, and a mirror. Home sweet marble bank.

Jason breathed deeply, desperately smoothing down his blonde hair and rechecking his outfit: A dark blue shirt, jeans, and some sneakers. _Good for a casual date, right? _he thought nervously. He couldn't help it, everything had to go perfect. To be honest, he wasn't quite sure when he had fallen in love. Unable to pinpoint the exact time or place that Cupid had plunged an arrow into his heart, Jason had been left to assume that it had just hit him over the head one day and he fell harder than Hephaestus from Olympus. He still remembered their first meeting, though it definitely wasn't the most romantic scenario, it was the first time he had ever fallen head over heels for somebody so fast that he truly appreciated the phrase. Incredible, really, that so many things could happen when you meet the one… But then that pesky little quest/war/end of the world had gotten in the way, separating them for a bit. His heart clenched when he remembered his fear that in someway she didn't survive…. But she did, and oh, how he'd held her in those precious moments after the war! He remembered it too well…

_The smoke was finally starting to clear, the fires beginning to extinguish as Jason streaked along the broken paths of the camp. The others were helping to tend to the wounded, finish off the remaining giants… But he had a mission. His chest tightened as he caught sight of the collapsed buildings around Camp Jupiter, terrified what fate may have befallen his beloved. Since the moment they met, he couldn't stop thinking about her: She was forever imprinted on his mind, and now he might have lost her. Somewhere in the distance, Jason heard Piper's calls, but he didn't answer, choosing instead to rummage through a pile that looked suspiciously like her bunker. Several of her brethren were strewn around, and once more he felt his stomach drop as though he had just been fed weights. Did she even survive? She couldn't be... No, he wouldn't even think about it._

_But then he heard it: A small tinkle of broken glass somewhere very close by. He leapt over a fallen rampart with practiced agility and ran straight into a particularly smoky pile of rubble. He could see a few dying embers among the debris, promptly crushing them with his sneakers to avoid more fires. He paused, listening carefully, then lunged toward smoldering beam and lifted it up with Herculean strength, though he doubted that Hercules ever fought for a cause more noble than what would inflate his gargantuan ego. Throwing the beam aside, Jason bent down and shifted among the debris until…_

_She was lying there, motionless. He gently lifted her up and held her in his arms._

"_Please," his voice trembled, "Please be okay. I-I need you… to be okay..." No response. His heart shattered, a heavy weight forcing him to his knees as he cried out in anguish. "PLEASE! NO! You have to be okay! I- I love you…" he trailed off, sobs racking his muscled body as he cradled her close, broken words of "No...why… I love you…" echoing through his sobs. Suddenly, he felt a bit of movement in his arms. Stunned, he glanced down at what he had once thought was lifeless… And there she was again! Staring up at him with all the beauty of her reddish-brown eyes, and looking like the most beautiful, amazing, wonderful thing he had ever seen._

_Jason smiled softly as she continued to stare up at him. "I-I meant what I said," he said with a heart-breaking smile, gently leaning down and pressing his warm lips to her cold ones. "I love you." And he carried her back, away from the smoking ruins of the bunkers, and back to the ship, where he continued to hold her as the others looked on, bringing her back to his room and falling asleep with her in his arms. And for the first time in months, he slept with no nightmares._

And so here he was, walking where he knew she would be waiting for him. As he walked toward the meeting place, he saw Piper staring at him with her beautiful multicolored eyes, beseeching him to come back. But he shook his head. As beautiful as Piper was, he knew in his heart it had been a completely aesthetic relationship, and that it was nowhere near what he had now. Perhaps, at one time, he had believed that he loved her. But now that he knew what true love is, and that it was waiting for him at the end of this street… It wouldn't be fair to keep her from her true love, and so he ended it. Many people told him he was insane, leaving an Aphrodite girl for what he had now. But truth be told, he was happier than he had ever been in his life, and all the gossip fell on deaf ears.

Finally, Jason made it to the place. It was like the place where they had met all those months ago, when he had been knocked unconscious by a bunch of angry Romans, with her lovely form being the last he saw. Glancing around, he nervously shoved his hands in his pockets and walked up to where she rested, seeing her sitting perfectly still, watching him. His smile grew brighter, and he bent down and kissed her gently and sweetly, but with all the love he had for her.

"Ready to go?" he asked, the scar on his lip twitching a bit out of nerves. She was quiet, but he liked her like that. He was the only one who appreciated her pensive personality, and he loved her all the more for it.

Meanwhile, Leo Valdez happened to be strolling along the path towards the Hephaestus Cabin, and saw Piper staring morosely after Jason.

"Hey Pipes," he said casually, plopping down beside her and stretching out his legs. "Is he still…"

"Yup," she said with a sigh, as she watched Jason kiss her. "I think something's really wrong now."

Leo snorted. "You haven't seen that before?"

Piper shook her head. "No, it's just… I thought he was kidding, but…"

Leo reclined back a bit, and fixed his gaze on Jason. "They'll cart him off soon."

She sighed. "I know. But maybe it's for the best."

"Yeah," Leo agreed, "Let him have some happiness before it all goes down. Zeus knows he deserves it."

The two worried ones watched as their tall, blonde superman picked up a brick, kissing the top of it again, and then carrying it off into the sunset.

"As long as the brick goes with him, he'll probably love it." Leo finished, staring to twiddle with his thumbs, "As long as he doesn't trip and shatter it."

**So I had this plot-bunny in my head, and after seeing so many BrickxJason posts... I couldn't help myself. I will go down with this ship!**

**But anywho, please read and review and let me know what you thought, and if you want anymore of these one-shot situations!**

**LP009**

**UPDATE: I am a cottonheaded ninny-muggins. I've fixed the mistakes now, so all is well.**


	2. Drunk

**Hello you wonderful people! First of all, thank you so much for all the wonderful comments on "A Date"! They all made me smile! Soooo I thought it would be only one story but... I couldn't _not _write this story. So I've decided that this will be the story for all my funny, random plot bunnies. I found this one on tumblr, and I loved it. So yeah, this is what it will be! Some will be long, some will be short, but they all are humorous and completely spontaneous.  
**

**This particular prompt is about the Seven getting incredibly drunk, and all their different drunk personalities. **

**Enjoy!**

Clarisse La Rue was a warrior, not a listener on confidant, and certainly not a babysitter But when she climbed onto the Argo II, she had suddenly become all three.

" Claaarrrriiissseee! 'Ya such a nice person, ya know?" Piper called out from her seat. "Fo' a daughta' of Ares, mos' of them suck. Such a nice person."

"Shhh Piper, nap-time." Leo moaned from the couch, his face buried in the pillow.

"SHURRUP LEO!" Annabeth yelled, slamming her drink on the counter.

"Ya know yur' pretty sexy when you get all mad." Percy said seductively, trying to slip an arm around her shoulder and failing, causing him to plummet to the floor where he lay giggling for a bit.

You see, Clarisse had heard that the Seven had locked themselves in the ship to "celebrate victory and friendship" after the war and reconstruction was over. And while everyone else had just accepted that the heroes needed a break, Clarisse was known for her tendency to crash parties and cause a ruckus. Thus, going against her boyfriend's advice, she snuck aboard the ship and picked the lock on the door to find… seven very drunk demigods.

Where or how they'd gotten the drinks, no one knows. All she could see now was the emotional and physical mess that was the heroic seven, and though painful to watch, it was mildly hilarious.

"Well whaddya come 'ere fo' Clarisse?" Annabeth mumbled viciously from her seat. "Come ta challenge me?"

Clarisse smirked, pulling up a chair to watch the train wreck. "In your dreams, Chase. We all know I'd win anyways."

"SAY THAT TO MY FACE!" Annabeth cried, starting to get off her chair. Unfortunately, a tall blond guy happened to fall on her at that moment.

"Oops, didn't see ya there Annabeth." Jason giggled hysterically. "You could say I_ fell_ for ya." While nobody else laughed (except Percy who was now attempting to feel up a bottle of vodka), Jason seemed to find it amusing enough and laughed like a dying hyena. Annabeth shoved him off and resumed her seat, drinking deeply from the bottle.

"Why ya makin' all that noise?" Leo said in a muffled voice, "A guy's tryin' to sleep here!"

"This was your idea," Frank said sullenly, "And just like everything else, it was a hit. After all, who would listen to a guy who gets stuck in chinese finger traps?"

Jason laughed harder. Piper began to cry a bit. "I remember that," she sniffled, "It was so funneh, but ya' were a goo' sport, Frank. Goo' memories." She cried a bit harder.

"Don' cry beautiful." Percy said from his seat. "I would come make ya feel betta' but I like blondes more."

Jason chuckled. "Like me?"

Percy winked at him. "Aw yeah," he said in a low voice. "Hey superman…. Bed. Now." But neither one moved, so it never proceeded as intended. Annabeth glared at Percy until he had the drunk sense to sit back down.

Clarisse decided to avoid the bottle entirely; Maybe the elf-guy had spiked, who knew? But seeing everyone act this way was beyond fantastic: She could practically smell the amount of blackmail she now had on all of them. Except Hazel. The girl sat in the corner curled up and staring blankly at the wall.

"How much has she had to drink?" Clarisse asked Frank, who seemed to be the most lucid, even if he looked like a pouting baby sumo wrestler.

"A few," he replied dully, "Then she went to the corner and hasn't moved since. Probably my fault."

"It's not ya fault, Franky." Piper said with a sympathetic tear, "There are different drunk people."

"Piper, shhhhh" Leo whispered, covering his ears, "Sleepy now."

"How can you sleep?" Jason said with a goofy grin, "Tell us some jokes! I like jokes!"

"Don't encourage him," Annabeth warned from her stool. Frank silently agreed.

"I'm good a' encouraging people!" Percy volunteered and chuckled into his glass.

"How long have you been here?" Clarisse asked.

"Who knows?" Frank mumbled, starting to put his head down. "I think I agree with Leo this once, and I want to sleep." And so he did.

"Finally," Leo sighed. From the snores coming from the couch, he had finally fallen asleep. Clarisse glanced over to the corner where Hazel now lay on her side, nodding off. She looked back and saw Annabeth slump onto the counter, muttering curses that would make a sailor blush and finally succumbing to sleep.

" 'Ey, now I can 'sleep' with something!" And he meant it, because he grabbed a nearby lamp and cuddled it like a teddy bear. "Sweet dreams, beautiful." he said stroking the porcelain.

Jason was the last to go. "It was so fun in da' beginning," he giggled, "And 'den we all drank too much. Tooooo much." And he rolled over and passed out.

Well, it was official. Clarisse La Rue had now seen it all. _Better let the kids get their beauty sleep, they're gonna need it,_ she thought jokingly as she began to tiptoe towards the door. But what stopped her was a magnificently ingenious prank, one that would make the Stolls jealous…. Clarisse smiled to herself and withdrew a black sharpie from her pocket, making her way to everyone's sleeping forms.

And the next day, Hazel awoke first, screaming at the sight of a dick drawn on everyone's face, signed by Clarisse La Rue.

**Soooo whaddya think? Did you like this prompt? If you didn't get it, the drunk personalities are as follows:**

**Jason: silly**

**Leo: sleepy**

**Piper: emotional**

**Frank: sulky**

**Hazel: unresponsive**

**Annabeth: angry**

**Percy: slutty**

**And that's about it! So if you have any funny plot bunnies, let me know and I might write it! And once again, thank you all for reading! Please leave a review because slutty Percy and I will see you all again soon! **

**P.S. Sorry I haven't updated Cor Gelidum in a while, I'm working on it now and hope to have the next chapter up soon! **

**PERSPECTIVE UPDATE!**

**If you read my story Perspective and are waiting for Eva's story, then I have excellent news for you! I will begin posting Eva's story, entitled "The Cost", on August 15! I will be keeping it on the same place as Perspective, so if you're already following it, then you're set! But I will title the chapters differently so there is no confusion.**

**Until then, my readers, until then...**


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